Closer to Comfort
by Fallon-Skybird
Summary: When the Host Club decided that they would make EVERY girl happy, they didn't have a clue what they signed up for. OC story no pairings . It has some darker themes, but will be light-hearted at moment because it's ouran. Enjoy.


**I know what you are thinking… you are sitting there glaring at the computer saying "Really Fallon? REALLY? ANOTHER one? ANOTHER? I mean, you have three up right now, most of which have BARELY gone anywhere what-so-ever." Don't fret though dear readers, I'm working on my other stories as you read this. I'm posting a chapter tomorrow for my Kasanoda story most likely so keep your eyes open. Okay, here is a warning- this IS an OC story. As of right now, I don't have an intention to pair this character with anyone(that will probably change in the future) so PLEASE bare with me. This is for now supposed to be more of a… friendship type of fic, and is somewhat hurt/comfort genre. There will be some mild cursing, some darker themes(no spoiling now, you'll find out). I think T is an appropriate rating for now, so I'll stick with that.**

Disclaimer:

_For the benefit of the public I must confess that I, Fallon S. do NOT own Ouran. I am not Biscotti Hatorine (Even thought being her would be amazing beyond compare) and If I was, this fanfic would be less crappy. If this causes you immense pain, the uncontrollable urge to dance or pee, AIDS, or other sexually transmitted diseases this is not my fault. Blame yourself for allowing yourself to view this. Enjoy, or, if you would like, use this story how ever you please. Like inducing vomit._

**Closer to Comfort **

Nightmares and Numbness

_~ T_sukino Manabe Point of View 

I was stuck inside of a nightmare again. Stuck inside of a dream that felt and looked all too vivid to be fake. Stuck in the type where you scream, and scream, and scream but no one comes to wake you. Stuck inside your head, unable to stir, being weighed down by some unknown force. It's like you were locked in some hell personalized for you and only you. A hell so terrible nothing could be worse…Except maybe waking from it.

Waking up, I suppose, is the worst part of dreams. You pull from your sheets, hair matted down with sweat, face pale, and fingers trembling as you tell yourself one thing "It's not real." Then you sit there; unable to leave your bed or return to sleep, paralyzed with fear, waiting for your tears to stop. And maybe if you're anything like me you realize it wasn't a dream.

It was real.

It was just a replaying memory.

It did happen.

Waking up every night to realize that you'd rather go back to your nightmare so you didn't have to live it is sad.

So here I sit, bawling into my pillows, fear making me tremble fiercely, around three-o-clock in the morning. I force myself to calm down a bit, hiding further beneath my blankets. Two hours from now is the time I should wake up most mornings, but that usually isn't the case. I usually wake up in between two and four every morning from the same earth-shattering nightmare I always have.

Every night, same thing, over and over again. The cycle is rather tiring mentally and physically. I'm lucky if I get more than three hours of sleep a night.

I'd sit here like I'm doing now and just breathe in and out deeply.

It's not happening.

It's not happening.

I run my quavering hands through my hair, my scalp aching like my hair really was being pulled. My hair used to be long. It hung down by my waist, brown with small patches of a light honey color, but changed that about a year ago. I chopped it off, short, cropped an inch above my shoulders, with long bangs that cover my stormy gray eyes- that way I'd never have to make eye-contact with anyone ever again.

Slumping down, my breath finally evened out, so I curled into a ball, knees tucked into my chest like a scared child.

I make an effort to distract myself with different thoughts- the test in physics tomorrow, the blanched color of my sheets, or perhaps the steady tick of the clock on my bedside table. It just had to be something mindless.

Finally, after about 20 minutes, I had relaxed in my bed, listening to the crickets chirping outside as I watched the sky grow lighter by the second. The times I would lay in bed like this were probably the only instances I felt even close to comfort. In the back of my mind, I realized there was no way, once again, I could ever get back to bed now, so I sat up to flick my bed-side lamp to life. My eyes took a moment to adjust as I reached beside my bed for my physics text book and read through its material- I did have a test today after all, so I might as well study.

My eyes skimmed over the information for what seemed like a few minutes, but as my alarm pealed off, the realization it was six in the morning finally struck.

'_I studied for what… two and a half hours?'_ I wondered numbly, _'more?'_

It made no difference to me though, so I ambled out of bed and to the bathroom.

I had two hours to prepare for school, but I never took pleasure in that. Never once did I take a shower longer than twenty minutes, or waste my time on make up, or fixing my hair in a different style in the morning.

I made my schedule simple-

-Shower

-Face

-Teeth

-Hair

-Clothes

-Books

Done.

I made my way down the stairs towards the kitchen, maids greeting me as I made my way through the house, asking how I slept. I gave generic answers such as "Okay," "Fine," or "Well," but they could see it was a lie from the dark circles sinking beneath my eyes, and how I shakily clutched onto the stair-rails for balance. Many times they offered me help, and I would decline politely, making a sorry attempt to dodging the heat of their sympathetic gazes.

Once I arrived at the kitchen, I walked past the chefs working away at making breakfast for everyone.

"Miss Suki," called the one cook, Hotaru- a woman with soft smile and light brown eyes, "What would you like for breakfast this morning?" She did this every morning, though the answer never changed.  
>"I'm not very hungry- I'll just grab some fruit or something." She smiled, and returned to cooking as I reached into the pantry grabbing some sort of granola bar, and walked to the main hall. There, waiting by the door was one of the maids to lead me out to the car. I followed her, thanking her when I sat down in the car that soon began to lead me into school.<p>

_- Classroom -_

School, is supposed to be for learning but here it is a social event.

"_My God, she's so weird."_

All I ever hear anyone do is gossip.

"_I don't think I've ever heard her speak…"_

No one ever pays attention to the lesson…

"_She never even smiles."_

…Or to the tests, like the one they should be taking right now.  
><em>"Why does she even go here? I mean, look at her…"<em>

I'm thinking it's like a playground for them or something.

"_Why doesn't she wear any makeup?"_

All play, and no work.

"_My father would never let me leave the house like THAT."_

I really wonder how most of them manage to pass.

"_What a freak."_

Abruptly, I stand up at my desk, causing the chattering around me to freeze in a sudden burst. The eyes of my classmates seem to lock dead onto my back as I make my way to the front of the classroom.

"Miss Manabe, what is it? Do you need assistance on your test?" My physics teacher, Mr. Setsuko, glared up at me lazily from his seat. I shook my head quickly, staring at my feet.

"Um.. uh… N-no," I stuttered placing my copy of the desk on his desk "I… I finished." I turned quickly, not wanting him to ask me if I wanted to take more time, or him to force me to check my test once again. The answers were obvious- he just took a few of the problems from the book, and I did many of those problems earlier this morning when I woke up. It didn't take me much time… if you were me. Glancing around the room, the realization stuck that no one else was finished their test.

Big-shocker.

Wait… no. Wait. A boy, I believe his name is Haruhi Fujioka, got up from his seat walking to the front of the class. He dropped his paper at the front desk, and returned to his seat, a rather idle look on his face. I found myself fixated on him for some reason though. I couldn't help but stare at him from the corner of my eyes. Something seemed peculiar about him. Perhaps it was his slight build, or his child-like face. His feminine lips, and rosy cheeks only seemed too- Oh no.

My face went pale as a sheet. I quickly made a sorry attempt to focus my gaze at a blank piece of paper sitting on the desk. A weight, heavy as lead, dropped down in my stomach, pinning me to my seat as I writhed. Numbness replaced all real feelings as sweat dewed up on my forehead. He caught me looking- his eyes stared right into mine for a moment.

Eyes.

Eyes.

Eyes.

Meeting.

Criticizing.

Hurting.

Burning into my skin like a brand.

Slam.

I felt myself ache with pain, keeling over not wanting to make a sound while distant memories played like a horror film behind my eye-lids. Nightmares, dancing with reality. I shoved my chair back, and speed-walked to the front of the room twitchily, trying not to fall "Mr. Setsuko- May I be excused?" A rasped voice squeaked its way out of my throat.

"Excused?" he inquired, an eyebrow raised above the other "But where?"

The cold that blew from his voice made me shiver "I need to go to the nurse." I stated quietly, my vision beginning to toggle between the scene before me and black nothingness.

"Are you feeling ill?" his tone was near accusatory, as if I were to blame for something.

"Y-yes s-sir…." Hands curled tight into fists beside me, as the darkness encroached.

"Then…" the room began to spin, and I just stared forward at Mr. Setsuko. Lips flapped, but there was no sound. It was as though everything was put on mute in the world. The spinning got worse, and I found myself no longer look at Mr. Setsuko, but staring at the ceiling. Was I on the ground? Muffled cries echoed from around the classroom, but it was so disjointed from everything. The tiles swirled into the gloom.

I was out of there.

I was way out.

**So there is the first chapter! Not much happened- I know. It was kind of just… introducing my character, setting things up. She isn't a mary-sue: don't worry about that(I spent months molding her and turning her into a screwed up human being). Believe me- she has LOTS of flaws(you will see them in chapters to come). If you are confused, a lot of things will be cleared up in the chapter to come. I don't know when they'll be put out(maybe soon, maybe not… who knows or cares, my stuff is terrible anyway). Also, have no fear the Host Club and other characters WILL appear. Don't worry your pretty little heads over that fact. And last but not least- please review and give me some criticisms. I'd love to hear them. **


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